I have a bike!
Notice the front light, back light, bell and reflectors needed for it to be street legal...and brakes. You know, since those are so easy to forego.
It's name is Vixen. If you've ever seen A Year Without a Santa Claus, you'll understand. If you've never seen this
gem rotten egg of a children's Christmas movie, you're missing out. Here's a clip:
I'm only a little less stressed to ride it than I am to drive the car. At least it's legal here to ride Vixen the wrong way down a one-way street. Sometimes.